Nightwork

Darkness, i open my eyes and i feel blind..

I can't see, not even my own hand infront of me. I don't know if am still sleeping or am awake and ready to go.

My mind is a tornado, a swirling tornado filled with colores. Blue! Red! Pink! Neon-Green! Yellow.

Feels like a rainbow, but where is the pot of gold then? Is it even there? And if it is give me a sign, anything at all.. "And to honour thy i shall sacrifice this pan of cookies and a glass of milk to thy, do NOT give me a sign if ye wish me to eat it myself..... Yer will shall be done! *Eats cookies*"


A cold breeze gently touches my skin, like a sheet made of silk. I shivers as i ponder about the worlds many problems. I figure we are only mare sheeps, taking command from the shepard with the crook. Hmm...


I sit here, minding my own business.. Family asleep and only me and a crappy Jay Leno is here.. Hearing the audience applauds to his bad jokes cause a "Applauds" sign lights up, controlld by the studio..


I do wonder, if am now 00.00pm GMT gonna take myself a glass of coke and watch this stupid show on TV cause i don't have anything else to do? Or if i should close this down and force myself to sleep.. Hmm hard choices.. But i guess my good old friend MR. Leno wins this fight.


Am sorry for all the trouble and problems i give my fiancé, its not by my meaning to be a cranky ol' bitch.. Yes well now you probably wonder why am sitting here by myself and writing a pathetic post in my blogg? Cause i like to feel sorry for myself? Nah not really, i just write what ever pops up in my mind.


I did however contact a shrink a few weeks ago... She said she will call me back with an apointment for group therapy and perhaps i need personal therapy aswell.. Supprisingly (Or not) i havnt heard a word from her..

Perhaps she finds me too much of a trouble patience or i will freak out the other patience thinking they are manic deppressed at the age of Fifteen.. Hawr Hawr...


"And on that note, we kill the music...."



Love my family, thanks for standing behind me...


/K